Holiday season has officially begun—Thanksgiving was just last week, and it feels like Christmas (and Kwanzaa) are around the corner. But, while this time of year is supposed to be a period of joy and celebration, for many women, it simply means more burdens and additional sources of stress.
According to an American Psychological Association survey, “[j]uggling work and added family responsibilities, such as planning for holiday gatherings, shopping for gifts and cooking, leave most women feeling like they can’t take time to relax during the crunch to get everything done for the holidays. Survey findings show that added holiday stress, on top of already disproportionately high stress levels in women year-round, makes it hard for women to relax.”
Being stressed for an extended period of time adversely impacts one’s health, and can lead to respiratory issues and a weakened immune system, leaving “one more susceptible to infection and skin conditions such as eczema, hives, and acne.”
This is especially concerning given the overwhelming amount of research and evidence demonstrating that “Black women in America experience chronic anxiety and more intense symptoms than other races,” which often can reach peak levels during the holidays.
Coya Houston is an expert in the world of productivity and planning. In college, she shares with ESSENCE, she had “always been the girl who loved the planner, loved receiving the syllabus and things we needed to do to be great. But after college, I didn’t have a syllabus, but I’ve always been really good with organizing and time management.”
Houston eventually created a system for herself. “People started becoming really intrigued and asking me, ‘how do you do all these things,’ and I realized, wow, there’s so many women out here who need help. We’re wearing so many hats and there’s so many things flooding our brains, all the things we need to do on a consistent basis.”
Eventually, she launched a planning system for other women two years ago and created the “Her Daily Guide” digital planners. “From there,” Houston shares, “I’ve just been constantly tweaking and adding on to the system and giving women the resources and tools and just building a whole platform out of it, because with the right guidelines and with the right help we really can be better as a whole.”
Read on for tips from Houston about how she implements structure and tackles her to-do lists during this time of year. You can reclaim your joy, stay productive, and be as stress-free as possible this holiday season!
01
Write it all out
“I’m really big on utilizing the calendar because it allows me to know where I’m supposed to be on a certain day and it also gives me a timeframe for work and what I need to do to prep to get to whatever that event may be. Once you do that, start breaking down all the tasks that you need to complete. When you have all your tasks, I like to schedule a deadline for them and work backwards, and then I add those tasks into my calendar.”
02
Saying “no” is the best productivity hack
“This is the holidays, and we want to be in good spirits as much as we can. I have a holiday planner, and it has the budget, everyone’s gifts written down, and it has the special dates throughout December that I want to keep in mind. Write those things out because a lot of the time we feel overwhelmed because we are keeping everything in our head. We’re not planning it and we’re not putting a deadline on certain tasks, and that’s what makes us feel stressed and overwhelmed.”
03
If saying no makes you feel guilty, start small
“In the beginning it was so hard for me to tell my family and my husband when they asked if I wanted to do something and I wanted to say no. But what I realized, is that even though it was hard, as time progressed, and people started to see the shift in how I operated, they respected my nos so much.”
“Now five years later, I think they think it’s a no before it’s a yes,” Houston says. “Just start starting small and then keep going, even though it’s not going to feel good. Even with my husband and kids, I have to tell them sometimes, ‘No, I’m sorry, I can’t be everywhere. I can’t do everything.’ I had to tell myself, ‘I’m a great wife and mom, but I can’t overcommit.’ We do so much for everybody else and we don’t do that for ourselves, and I think that’s what most women need to do is say, no, I’m unavailable. I cannot do that. Again, it’s not easy in the beginning, but it will get easier as time goes on. You start saying no, and people will notice the shift and they’ll respect you and then it’s going to be easier and easier to say that.
04
When you do say yes, put it on your calendar then and there to stay sane and organized
“I am a calendar girl. I live and die by my calendar,” Houston shares. “When I say yes and I’m committing to something, I am putting it in my calendar right then and there, I’m putting the whole time block that’s needed, so I won’t forget. We always have a lot of things going on, so I want to make sure that it’s there. On Sundays, when I do my weekly planning, I get an overview of what’s going on so I’m prepared for it. I feel like we usually get anxious when we say yes to things, and they sneak up on us. I would say the best thing to do is just be prepared. Using your calendar also should let you know if you’ve said yes to too many things at one time.”
05
Give yourself some grace because setting boundaries and being productive doesn’t happen immediately
Houston has this final tip: “I want to re-emphasize that this is a process and it just doesn’t happen overnight. When it comes to trying to be more productive and better with your time management, you have to give yourself grace. Not too much grace, but definitely grace in that you just keep trying. A lot of people will do great for three weeks or four weeks and then they may have a bad week and fall off. But come back and try again, and for the holidays, just focus on the things that are important to you, and also schedule me time. Don’t fill up your calendar with things for family and friends without scheduling some me time for yourself.”
